Hollow widow

 Why this urgent need to feel some naked skin under my fingers, lips, body? Why this struggling dream to sleep naked near a naked woman body? Why am I not attracted by a single woman, but simply by a woman? Is it true that men and women exchange love (desired by women) and sex (desired by men)? I hope it's not like that, I calm myself down repeating that my sex desire is much stronger when I have my wife near to me (it's true, even if she doesn't want nor live sex with me)... but actually I'd simply want somebody. Why am I attracted even by my daughter's cleavages (don't worry, they've nothing to fear on my part, but I know I must keep my desire quiet)? Am I a subnormal? Or am I human, and I'd have my right to some sex pleasure in my life? Instead, I fap while watching nice naked girl online. But I'd need the real thing.

 I've had a dream.  My finger was wettely sliding between shaved pussy lips... I couldn't hear her moaning, but I saw her muscles tremble... she was softly pushing against my hand... my middle finger was slowly moving inside her... among inside and outside... softly wavering on her entrance... then withdrawing against her clit, my finger wetted by her juices...  It wasn't my wife's clit. I don't know whose, anyhow. I had just fortuitously brushed against my wife's nipples. They were hard, even if she says she doesn't feel anything anymore... and they made me hard. I know I desperately need deep intimate contact.

 I've always thought and said that there's a deep difference between the appearance of a male and female orgasm. I think women are always beautiful when they come, absorbed, wrapped in, somehow introflexed even when they squirt: you can easily think they are wholly into what they're doing and feeling. I think a female orgasm is one of the best shows in the world, at every age and with every body. And I tell "one of the best" since I prefer not to overemphasize. Even the way is so tender and soft, a subtle caress on a little hidden button, but even soft strokes inside themselves...  On the contrary, a man...! It's outwards, it's gross, That working on that hard thing... and at the end the sprouting out, everywhere, like a spit.  Ok, maybe I prefer female orgasm since I'm a heterosexual man. It could be. Anyhow, I always feel ashamed and embarassed in showing myself, since i think I'm gross. And what I've got to show isn't interesting. This m...