Hollow widow

 I'm a caregiver. Oh no, not a professional one, nor a paid one. I'm my wife's caregiver. No free days, no labour rights, no spared hours. It's fine, it was for better or for worse. Maybe I've not been too lucky, but it happens.  Pitifully I'd need some skin, some pleasure, some moanings. And I'd like having them with my wife... but she doesn't want, or can't. And, since I'm an animal, I'd like having them anyhow. But usually, my wife watches over, with a female instinct, that nobody would accost me. In that case, she's yet a wife.  Thus, I tell nobody what I'm suffering. (Am I exaggerating? Am I pushing my situation too hard? Maybe it's usual not having sex yet working all day long every single day, putting together family, job and caregiving). Nearly nobody.  I had said something to a collegue, but my wife watched over, and she discovered us (we never even touched each other) and obtained us to stand apart. Yesterday, I wrote so...

 Or at least, what's being married? What's the proper of being married? Living together? Naaah.... there are spouses who are forced to live apart, and other ones who decide not to sleep together. Then? Doing things together? Not at all. Kids? You're not forced to be married in order to beget kids. I think they could be two things, maybe one. Maybe listening, siding, fanning... I know you're at my side, anyhow, even if you don't totally agree.  And sex, sure. Usually, a bit of sex with another partner can generally be a sufficient reason to part away.  What when you don't have sex with your partner and you know you can't tell her what's worrying you up, what you're dreaming about, what's stressing you? Are we already separated? We could. But you're not fine, you need assistance. Thus, I'm here. I must keep here. You need someone, even me. And I'm here. And I accept you not to listen to me, to shout and protest so often... we're not...